carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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