he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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