Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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