so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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