If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have fence marks all over my body
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
