I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize