I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
