So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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