It's Friday. Sex?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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