I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
