White coat. Heels.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
