you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
