May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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