you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I checked into jail on foursquare
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
