I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
God I need to hump something, right now.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
