Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
