so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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