I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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