when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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