When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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