Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
