That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
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In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
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Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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