that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
