I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
