yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
