we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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