Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Is Oprah even human
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize