he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
