Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
