Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
