i don't like sucking hair
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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