He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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