Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
