Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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