operation harelip BJ is a go
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
