Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
