I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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