im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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