I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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