lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
