Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
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Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
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Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize