Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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