Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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