This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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