Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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