nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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