I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
