No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
