Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.