the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life