i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!