I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
