I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
