I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
not ubering you a puppy
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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