I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
