you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
