you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
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