Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
