that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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