Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Randomize
