No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
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I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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