you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
