i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
