No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
