For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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