Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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