My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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